The Unthinkable
by Nightshadowmidnight
Summary: Natsu's eyes roughly resemble dishes in size and he chokes on the very air he's breathing as Gray turns a worrying shade of red and splutters something incoherent whilst all the while Jellal is out there somewhere plotting their dooms. To Natsu and Gray, the very thought of bathing with Erza is unthinkable!


**Okay, I have no idea where this came from. I _definitely_ think it's really nowhere near as good as it could be, but I am having a sort of block when it comes to writing right now and I can't seem to write anything to the point where I think it's good enough, so I'm leaving it at this and may rewrite it in the future if I have time.  
And if Erza seems OOC towards the end... I don't know how to explain. It was kind of intended, but I'm really not sure anymore XD**

* * *

As per usual it was your average day in Fairy Tail. That's how everything always starts, right? With Mira serving drinks at the bar and Team Natsu gathered round a table recalling the details of their previous mission as Juvia presses herself up against a beam whilst peeking round to catch glimpses of her wonderful Gray-sama. Elfman and Evergreen are arguing about something 'manly' as Lissana weakly attempts to keep the peace between them and Wendy wanders over out of curiosity, Cana's drowning herself in alcohol, Levy's going over her new novel to the side of the bar and Gajeel is brooding in the corner over a pile of scrap metal.

Yep. All completely average so far.

That is until Erza walks in. Back from dumping her luggage off at Fairy Hills, she walks over to the table where her team mates are gathered. Lucy is handing Natsu her copy of the Weekly Sorcerer which she discovers has an entire three pages dedicated to their latest disaster of a mission in which half a town was all but destroyed as they battled a particularly fierce dark guild. Erza shakes her head.

Natsu frowns. "They didn't even mention that we finished the job…" he mumbles to himself and he goes back to reread the section in case he's missed anything out.

From his seat across the table, Gray scoffs and finally raises his voice for the first time in what seems like an eternity. "I didn't know you could read, Flame brain."

Hearing the insult, Natsu glares at his rival and he completely drops the magazine, letting it fall forgotten onto his lap. He slams his fists down on the wooden table and a blazing, fiery aura seems to erupt around him.

"What did ya say, Ice Princess?" he growls through gritted teeth and Gray doesn't hesitate to return it.

"You wanna go, hothead?"

Natsu's about to stand up and rise to the challenge as is his opponent when the fearsome requip mage reaches the table.

"That's enough!" Titania's voice booms over the chatter of the guild hall. The room becomes deadly quiet and all heads turn at the sight of the one and only Erza Scarlet. Natsu immediately begins to sweat bullets and calms his fighting spirit down. Lucy silently thanks the scarlet woman for interrupting yet another scuff between the two mages, but she can't help but wonder how Erza is nearly always just in time to prevent anything violent. She shrugs. She is Erza after all.

"So," Erza Scarlet begins in monotone, "I have seen that article regarding our latest mission."

The rest of the team gulp simultaneously at the topic and Natsu moves timidly rests his hands above the magazine in his lap, hoping that he'll be able to cover the bold text on the front cover relating to the incident. Erza seems to notice this and she sighs heavily.

"Honestly," she mutters, "you three should really be less reckless when out on a job request."

_"Me?" _Lucy almost shrieks.

_"You're just as reckless!" _Natsu and Gray both yell out in unison, shooting glares each other's way once noticing their perfectly timed reactions.

"Aye!" Happy adds in for no apparent reason.

Erza, however, doesn't seem to have noticed their protests and she shakes her red head once more. "I remember a time when our jobs weren't all pointless destruction…"

Lucy very much doubts that knowing a certain Salamander's habit of incinerating everything as he went, but remains quiet nevertheless. Gray she can't be too sure about. He never tended to be as destructive as his teammate, but once in a serious fight he did appear to forget about the safety of anything nearby. Unless it was a living being of course.

He grumbles something along the lines of "Times have changed", but Lucy can't be too sure due to her wandering train of thought.

"Ah, yes that's true." Erza replies, sounding almost content. "On our very first missions together things were done much more quickly."

When nobody interrupts, she carries on reliving past memories of their jobs that they'd completed with each other's help. Lucy can't deny that she isn't just a little bit interested to hear some old tales that had taken place before her arrival at Fairy Tail.

Gray thinks for a moment. "It must have been about nine years ago – our first mission." He finally says, earning a smile from Erza who nods in agreement.

"Yes, that's right. I remember it was a task to deal with several creatures that were attacking vehicles in a forest north from here." She laughs at the memories. "We had to hike through those woods for so long and then trek all the way back to Fairy Tail."

Happy turns to his partner, eyes shimmering. Happy had always been curious about the parts Natsu's life that he hadn't been around to witness. Like Lucy, they both couldn't help but feel that they were missing out. "Did you really, Natsu?"

Natsu nods, not nearly as eager to reminisce as his friend. "Sure did. Took ages to get back though…"

"And once we did we were so exhausted." Erza nods slowly. "You two idiots complained for hours and you ate half the bar when we returned."

"We spent an entire day in the forest without food!" Gray tries to defend himself, but unsurprisingly goes unheard.

"Master was so mad when we walked in. Covered in mud, leaves, twigs… He demanded we all go and shower straight away…"

Lucy is fairly surprised to notice that Gray is looking a little more uncomfortable now. He shifts slightly in his seat ad forces a small laugh. "Yeah, I remember…" he trails off.

The requip mage is still smiling fondly, but her next words cause everyone at the table to pale considerably.

"We bathed together after almost every mission we took after that for about a year…"

Lucy's jaw hits the table, but no words come out. So that's why Gray – and even Natsu now – are beginning to look like they're being suffocated.

But that's nothing compared to what Titania has to say next.

"My, it's been so long since then…" In a spur of the moment burst of confidence, she chuckles and says, "Maybe it wouldn't do so much harm to relive old traditions, no?"

And now Lucy's head hits the table.

Natsu's eyes roughly resemble dishes in size and he chokes on the very air he's breathing as Gray turns a worrying shade of red and splutters something incoherent whilst all the while Jellal is out there somewhere plotting their dooms.

What is Titania saying?!

To adult Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel, bathing with Erza Scarlet is unthinkable!

It's horribly obvious at this point that at least 80 percent of the guild's attention has been drawn to them and their stares bore piercing, discomforting holes in the back of Gray's neck. He himself is becoming extremely uncomfortable under their gaze and he's fairly sure he can hear the splintering crunch of wood as Juvia sinks her teeth into her beam.

Levy-chan is less interested in her novel, Elfman is less interested in giving Wendy a manly lecture, Mirajane is less interested in the mug she was cleaning and Cana - even though it would take a nuclear explosion or two plus the apocalypse to draw her interest away from her beloved barrel of booze - watches the scene intrigued with a devilish smirk on her face, rapping her burgundy nails against the booze container as she does so.

"E-ERZA?!" Gray finally manages to shout (with much difficulty).

_'Is she being SERIOUS?'_

Gray doesn't know the answer to this and continues to debate in his head whether or not the woman is being joking or not. But still… To even suggest..! Maybe bathing with Erza whilst they were kids was acceptable _(just), _but when they were adults?! They had… _changed. _Physically. Just the thought of _that_… Was the shiver that just ran up Gray's spine out of horror or..?

But why should it be horror? He isn't dumb. He's an average, healthy male and he can see that over the years Erza has developed one of _the _nicest figures in all of Fairy Tail…

Another shiver runs up through the man's body and he shakes his head rapidly.

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. No bad nakama thoughts. At least that what he thinks before his mind unwillingly takes a different turn.

An image of the Fairy Tail shower room appears in his head. Even if it wasn't as big a deal as it actually was, those showers were incredibly small and there'd barely be any room for more than two…

He tried his best not to let a frustrated groan escape his lips.

Shit... He can just imagine it, being in such close proximity with the woman. He can imagine the tight space forcing their bodies closer to one another, the occasional bump of skin against smooth, silky, luscious skin, the feel of those two large assets pressed up against his hard, toned self and...

Oh Lord.

Is that _blood_ dripping from his nose?

In a desperate attempt to save himself from his own impure mind he focuses his mind on other things (that _don't_ involve a certain requipping knight).

_'Damn it all! Don't think about it, Gray, don't think about it! Is it me or is it getting hot in here? Ice, ice, ice, ice, ice... God, Flame Brain can't be suffering as much as I am, can he?' _

A glance in said Flame Brain's direction proves him wrong. Now, Natsu may be a brain-dead, pyromaniacal _moron, _but even he understands the implications. He's unmoving and completely motionless, he seems to have some difficulty breathing properly and there are small beads of sweat beginning to form on his brow.

Or maybe he's not as brain-dead as Gray might think as the edition of the Weekly Sorcerer placed upon his lap has risen quite significantly. Lucy is the second of the group to notice this and she quickly smacks him behind the head whilst failing to hide the shade of pink that's spread itself across her cheeks.

He can't even protest and can only lightly rub the back of his head with a numb hand.

Levy has closed her book and appears over the ice mage's shoulder. "Ne, Gray, are you bleeding?"

_"I- No!"_

"Hey," Happy speaks up, acting oblivious to the awkward situation that's surrounded them, "I think Gray's bleeding, Levy-chan."

_"You damn cat I'll skin you alive!"_

He merely chuckles in response.

With the words being thrown between Happy and Gray, nobody seems to notice Natsu absently place a hand under his nose in case it begins to bleed. It's feeling horribly tingly right now. Among other things. And it's not just the thought of showering with Erza that's making him feel light-headed.

Not only does the concept of being in the same small space as Gray _naked _or _not _sicken him, but the idea of being confined in such a space with _Erza _chills him to the bone.

Forget the obvious advantages to a man of seeing Titania nude, what the hell would she do to him if he stepped out of line? He'd be too scared of what possible injury could be inflicted on him if he so much as _touched _her in inappropriate places. When she could call out several death-bringing weapons from thin air things didn't look too good for him.

He'd been smashed into walls, floors, flung into poles, buildings, trees - hell, he'd even been catapulted into the ceiling a few times as he faced Titania's wrath, but he knew full well that he'd be much worse off if he so much as dared to step out of line in such a situation. And he knew full well where she'd aim...

He unconsciously covers his manly areas, silently hoping to keep them safe for as long as he can. His heavy breathing has turned into pants audible enough for most to hear.

It's then that a snickering is heard from the red-head's direction as she feebly tries to hold her laughter in, covering her mouth with an armoured hand. Eventually though it's obvious she can't contain it and begins to burst into laughter that almost rival's Cana's drunken roar. It's a laugh that nobody has ever heard from her. Ever. Nobody has ever seen her rise above a small chuckle, but it seems that here she can't help herself.

Gray appears to forget the dirty thoughts swimming around in his brain, Natsu somehow cools the heat down from his lower half and doesn't feel as light-headed anymore. The two, plus the rest of the guild, watches speechlessly as the Knight recovers from her laughter. The two male's jaws hang open at the spectacle, unsure what to make of it.

"Or maybe not," she manages to get out. "Oh well," she sighs loudly and turns to make her way towards the bar.

"I..." Natsu finally speaks, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that..?" Gray finally asks, frowning in confusion. The blood from his nose has finally cleared and he wipes the remainders of it with the back of his hand.

Seeing that they're on the way to recovery, Lucy shrugs and takes a sip of the drink in front of her. "Y-You two are disgusting..."

They both baulk at her comment. _"WHO's disgusting?"_

However a voice coming from the direction of the bar distracts them once more.

"We'll have that shower some other time."

And the two collapse limply onto the now bloody table.


End file.
